Bird stories | bob x

FEEDBACK FROM CLOUD CITY AND OTHER BIRD STORIES

Bob

SELECT pr. PlacingRequestID, s.NAME as Bob FROM Cloud_City;
SELECT Date, Location, Wind, Locality, Appearance FROM [Bob];

RESULTS

 

DATE

January 26th

LOCATION

Cloud City, West wing, row 294 about ten miles away from the ocean.

WIND

Row 3025052 fanning system, force 2.

LOCALITY

Bare, studio flat. The white walls emphasize the bright light coming from the windows on the right. A light gray couch with small plain-colored pillows - the only pop of color in the room - a part from the fig tree plant on the right of the couch. In front of the couch, a round, brown fake leather ottoman. On its right, directly on the floor, a round tray with a small assortment of candles.

APPEARANCE

CROWN

Short, on the ash-blond side, well-maintained.

NAPE

Round, metal-rimmed glasses.

PLUMAGE

All-light-gray attire, similar-pajamas.

LEGS

Bare, pale and skinny.

SELECT pr. PlacingRequestID, s.NAME as Bob FROM Cloud_City;
SELECT Time, Actions, Call FROM [Bob];

RESULTS

ACTIONS

POSTS

 

#minimalism #neutral #simple
January 26

 

Tiding up with ideology

Bob comes in the frame from the left, carrying a tripod with a mounted camera and a beige linen tablecloth. He positions the tripod near the ottoman and throws the tablecloth carelessly on the ottoman. He takes a seat on the couch. Gets his smartphone out of his pockets and starts scrolling for a few minutes. Unamused throughout.

Swept clean under the carpet,
On the internet nobody knows you're a dog.
Or a hoarder.

If you ever felt out of space when moving through your home,
your place, this post is for you.
How to let go of things cluttering your life?

Follow this well-researched, ethical steps
to make your home glossy
magazine-worthy!

Keep in mind, these are no easy steps:
Mindfulness and commitment.
Integrity paired with an objective.

DO NOT PRINT THIS
or you are down the messy alley again.
Just save the bookmark for easy access and thank me later.

How to tidy with a group of fanatics
in tune with your innate shintoist abilities:
channel your inner peace.

Now tell me,
Am I the only one smelling the ginger in the air?
Can you feel it flowing?

They say to get rid of anything
you don’t use for more than twice a week.
That includes books and photos.

They say you should invest in a nice high-resolution scanner
to digitalize all your memories and upload them
on a rack somewhere cold in the North.

The last book I bought was a book about self-reliance
that I hadn’t even finish before I decided to get rid of it.
I downloaded the digital version some time ago in a moment of low self-esteem.

You will start forgetting the smell of old books.
That tacky, almost sticky feel of old photos and family albums.
Not to talk about the dust!

I advice keeping only two or three books
as furniture pieces,
so people know you still enjoy hard backs.

Pair them with some natural bees wax candles,
custom scent made for your square meters
and household position compared to the moon.

You gave to fengshui your household
for a better flow of energies.
Will talk about that in more detail someday.

Carpets are optional.
I myself believe in the austere floor-spirits of the land of the rising sun,
but you do you.

A grey or beige colored sofa is a double win:
one one hand it pairs up easily with anything
while on the other it conceals anything dirty.

Pillow case shades may vary,
but I advice you opt for something neutral at first,
since it can directly impact on your human behavior.

I researched on the impact of colors on the mind.
Found out that red and yellow are used to trigger appetite.
A lot of restaurants adapted them just for that.

Now imagine having a fast-food chain
Splattered around your sofa!
Ketchup, mustard, mayo.

You have to tone down the colors and
get back to pale tones as the foundation of a healthier,
more balance way of living.

I know my white walls and soft neutrals aren’t for everyone
But try to keep it humble.
Nothing too flamboyant.

Some of you asked if I own jewelry: as a matter of fact I do.
I have a small box of accessories that I never wear
but sometimes I find myself admiring when the light is just right.

Check out my other posts about decluttering
and how to let go of things you don’t use.
Remember to also check my other feeds for inspiration.

 

#linen #sheet #sleep #bed
January 26

 

Guys

 

I am absolutely obsessed with linen!
Lines sheets in particular.
GUYS!
For those of you who have been reading me for a while,
you know I am a total sleep junkie.
GUYS!
I like my bed to feel comfortable and cozy,
is there something wrong with that?
GUYS!
This is where my new obsession comes in.
Straight from page 25 of our favorite design magazine.
GUYS!
Linen sheets!
They feel so luxurious and cool to sleep in.
GUYS!
Linen is about thirty percent more durable than cotton,
and though it may feel crisp at first, it will soften over time. 
GUYS!
They are a bit on the pricey side compared to cotton bedsheets,
but it is definitely worth the investment.
GUYS!
I am sure I am not the only one who enjoys
good quality pieces that will last me a long time.
GUYS!
Don’t feel bad spending money.
I am totally approving on it this time!

 

#plant #purpose
January 26

 

Telos (τέλος)

I love myself a plant
for air purifying purposes.
Remember that
everything in your life
has to have purpose.
Mine is called Leon,
like the movie.
He keeps me company
in the living room,
by the window.
Cleaning the air,
in exchange of water
and compliments
by yours truly.

If your don’t possess
green-thumbs just yet,
Consider starting with
some sturdy plants
that don’t die easily.
You can purposefully use
the green of their leaves
for bringing that much-needed pop of color
to your dull-looking online feed.
Remember you have to water the plant
for growing purposes.

 

#breakfast #morning
January 26

 

Breakfast of minimalists

 

Neutral-toned
ceramics on display.
Protein packed
glass-jars.
Now please tell me
I am not the only one
who is in love with their kitchen.

The smell
of freshly backed granola
and frothed plant-milk lattes in the morning.
These daily delights dolled-up
by hidden pleasures in white cupboards:
sweet spices and tangy aromas.
That extra oomph you need to start the day.

I have to admit, I gave in
and got myself some fairy lights to plug in
whenever the sky is grey.
Now don’t get me wrong:
you all know I like grey.
But I cannot enjoy prepping my breakfast to the fullest
without a touch of warm light.

I did try candles at first,
but their heat disturbs me in the long run.
Oh!
And by the way,
I write this down while enjoying my breakfast
and catching up on Vonnegut’s audiobook,
hence the title.

 

#waste
January 26

 

Consequentialism

 

As some of you might remember,
I tried to go waste free.

But my local supermarket
cannot sustain this drastic change to the fullest.

It is either local plastic containers or global CO2 emissions,
from going to the not-so-nearest waste-free grocery store.

Now you chose
The lesser of two evils.

 

#hotdrinks #meditation
January 26

 

Chai-Latte

 

Today I decided to write
about my favorite hot drinks
that I most enjoy sipping,
while contemplating consumerism.
If you also like hot drinks
and low-key meditation,
this recipe is for you.
Keep on reading.
The concoction is suited
for afternoon contemplation.
All starts with a base of black tea-water
All spiced-up with local bought spices
from India: cinnamon, cardamon and cloves.
Fragrant enough to open up your senses
and also your third eye.
If you have a French press,
you can brew your base in large batches
and store it in the fridge
for further “fika” sessions.
Simmer some sugar-free-plant-based milk.
Frothing is optional
but will bring your barista skills up a level.
(They should add barista courses online! )
Now you can mix the two parts.
Proportion three to one,
but feel free to experiment.
Pour it in your favorite ceramic mug
you thrifted at a low-key hippie festival.
Sip by candle light
or sun-powered fairy lights
for maximum effect.
And let me know if you try it.

 

#shopping #truth
January 26

 

Intervention

 

For this one, I decided to refer to myself
using the third-person since there is something
that I feel almost too ashamed embodying.

Bob is a minimalist.
Bob loves it simple.
Bob enjoys nudes.
Like beige, gray, and cream
Pillow cases.
Candles.
Less.
Is more.

Bob is an essentialist.
Bob scans.
Bob plans.
Errands.
Bob buys.
But lies
About his shopping list.

I bought a plastic water bottle
because I was literally dying of thirst while shopping ethically.
Now here I am blaming my dehydrated white ass.

MESSAGES

Click. How to declutter. Click. The Minimalists. Click. Podcast episode 5981764. Everything is in order in a black hole. Bookmark, then forget about it. Swept clean under the carpet, on the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Or an information hoarder.

He has made peace with his mortality. Yet, he does not understand the dichotomy between his minimalistic mantra and his virtual memorabilia. He learned from the savvy not to cling to the material-ephemeral. They advice on renouncing everything you don’t use more than two times a week. Photos, books and other memory filled paraphernalia, storing them in the Cloud is the best way to keep them safe from clutter as well as house fires and other calamities. This implies becoming fluent in 300dpi scanner, brought to your doorstep by your favourite amazondotcom drone.

He does enjoy his ceaseless folder constellations. In the uppermost folders, other folders full of articles, interviews, personal-favourite book reviews, movie trailers from another decade, same-website links to throwback photographs of people from circa 1912, high quality scans of Japanese prints - a rare find he says, along with vegan recipes never tried and never opened again.

He only wears black, white and sometimes gray, even though he finds grey to be more of a pyjama color than anything else. He has a box of accessories that he never wears but sometimes admire when the light is just right.

His routine is laundry on Wednesday. He only vacuums on Saturday but he has the habit of picking up whatever hair he sees on the floor. Especially on Saturday after vacuuming. He only has one plant named Leon, like the movie. Leon’s job is to clear the air in exchange of water. Its growing foliage makes the plant receive constant flattering remarks - “Oh, that’s a beautiful color you got today!”. He talks to his grandma about Leon. Click. No cat, no dogs but you can have nice plants and flowers and you can talk to them when you feel alone.That’s what she says - plants like music. I think he has a link about that somewhere. Click.

The last book he bought was a book about self reliance that he never even finished. He downloaded the digital version some time ago in a moment of low self esteem.

ALOE
ARECA PALM
BARREL CACTUS
CHAMAEDOREA
CHINESE EVERGREEN
DIEFFENBACHIA
DEVIL’S IVY
DRAGON TREE
ENGLISH IVY
FICUS PLANT
FIDDLE-LEAF FIG TREE
GERBERA
HAWORTHIA
HEART-LEAF PHILODENDRON
IRON CROSS BEGONIA
JADE PLANT
JAPANESE SAGO PALM
KENTIA PALM
LUCKY BAMBOO
MOTHER-IN-LAW’S TONGUE
NEW GUINEA INPATIENTS
ORCHID
PEACE LILY
PEPEROMIA
POTHOS
QUEEN’S TEARS
RUBER TREE
SHAMROCK PLANT
SPIDER PLANT
THANKSGIVING CACTUS
URN PLANT
VIOLET PANSY
WEEPING FIG TREE
XERANTHEMUM
YUCCA
ZANZIBAR GEM

#adv
January 26

 

Bob-ulletin 1

 

Today’s ramblings and writings
are inspired, transpired and aspired
by your favorite video-tutorial platform.
All scrollable in full RGB retina display resolution.
Learn everything from your kitchen chair.
From hip hop to macramé.
Then show off and make a profit.

#adv
January 26

 

Bob-ulletin 2

 

Today’s astrology test is brought to you by
INSERT YOUR SSN TO CONTINUE.

Please remember to check my Instagram and subscribe to my mailing list to be sure to get my newest posts!

GOOD
GOING
GREEN
GASEOUS
GIVING
GROWING
GLASS
GENTLEMAN
GIVING
GOING
GERMAN
GAP
GERM
GOING
VIBES
VEGAN
VASES
VOLUMES
VOICE
VOID
VANITY
VOCATION
VASTLY
VACANT
VACCINE
VALUE
VOMIT
VITRIOLIC

M	I	N	I	M	A	L	

A		N	I	M	A	L	

M	I	N	I	M	U	M	

E 	S	S	E	N	T	I	A	L

E	S	S	E

E	S	S

E	S

	S

L	I 	T		E	R	A	L	L	Y

L	I 	T	T	E	R

					R	A	L	L	Y

                        A	L	L	Y

                        A	L	L

L	I	T

L	I 				R	A

L	I						L		Y

L						A	L	L	Y

L						A			Y